I told him where I was going, and he hurried me out, pointing to the door with the gun, but what he didn’t know was…

that the boiler was still on, wet and fuzzy, tea was ready. And that would have changed the story, for he was a green tea lover. He would have stopped from shooting for a cup of warm smooth tea, if he only knew water was boiling.

razzmatazz list

Ok, let’s start this brand new paper with my bucket list (I thank The Daily Post for this suggestion).

1. Give importance to those colours we never use or quote, like “gamboge” or “razzmatazz”.
2. Laugh at funny words, like “razzmatazz”.
3. Jump from a place to another, from the chair on to the floor, from a point of view to someone else’s body. Jump for it’s good to dive into the open air.
4. Send him a picture of the “lemon party”. If he doesn’t laugh at it, shake shoulders and sing “he’s not the one, he’s not the one”.
5. Pick a random address from the telephone book and send a bunch of white flowers. Or a bunch of your house keys.
6. Read a lot of newspapers while having continental breakfast. Do it locked in a hotel room and do it for a week, or two.
7. Ask him to get married anyway.
8. Book the first flight to Prague and work there for some months as a waitress. Prague is famous for its “Spring-time”, Winter is always coming.
9. Take the first bus to I-don’t-know-where and look out of the window. Then fall in love with the gypsy girl sitting right in front. Play with her little dog and ask her to get married.
10. Write a bucket list in English.
11. Take a train from Beograd, get drunk drinking rakijia with a boy met during the trip. End up singing weird songs out loud on the Danube bank.
12. Fell in love with details. Then write about their lands.
13. Ask them to get married.
14. Learn how to say “shit” and “pumpkin” in at least thirteen different languages.
15. Sing invented songs without trying to record them since all the tunes have already been taken.
16. Pack the bags and go. Just go. It will all flow and fix correctly.
17. Decide to stay, for the same reasons.
18. Make dvd lessons on “how to dance tango improperly” and how to “make improper dvds”.
19. Start a new religion in which men have to cover in public, take a dildo and raise it to the rank of prophet. Call it “Master Woody”. Try to earn some money out of it. Impose the followers to wear razzmatazz underwear. Remember not to laugh when saying it.
20. Check if that thing of vodka and tampax really works. Try to make some money out of it.
21. Learn Bosnian just to translate Mak Dizdar poems. Learn Modra Rijeka by heart. In Bosnian.
22. Remember one day from childhood and try to live it again. Avoid getting arrested while at the park.
23. Write a list of beautiful words and a list of awful geometrical shapes. Then invent new ones and call them with proper names.
24. Draw on house walls.
25. Dive in the ocean at 01.30 am dressed up as a kangaroo. Then go fishing with your dad and love his way of keeping silence as you would keep a secret.
26. Honour your brain.
27. Grab a white paper and write about the first thing that comes into your head. Then follow it. Just follow it like a trail.
28. Be open hearted and easy.
29. Make a trip on a balloon. Then on a flying house. Then on a dragon. Then feel free to release your nerves and lay down. Write about your dreams.
30. Say “yes” a lot of times, randomly, during the day. While brushing teeth or driving back home. Say it when there’s no point in saying it. Best friends spend a lot of time together.
31. Love the moment in which he looks like a child. For example, while offering grapes.
32. Ask him to get married.
33. Then to cover in public, with your razzmatazz skin.

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